It’s hard not shutting down when you’re exhausted. The brain and the heart are not on the same wave length and life is wonky and all you want to do is disconnect from everyone and everything and you know you can’t do that. I’m sicker than people know, and work harder than I get credit for, and I deal with more than I share, and it becomes overwhelming and is physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting and some days I want to give up, but I don’t and won’t. I fight to be strong and even on here I don’t share the whole truth, but sometimes things are too much.
I’m fighting some lonely battles that I keep to just me. Things that are just mine to bare and some days that’s hard, but it’s easier than another lecture, or to hear how hard it is for someone else.
I’ve learned to keep things about my life on a mostly surface level. Disconnection from people is a hard thing for me. As an introvert, I hate small talk. I crave deep conversations. I’m finding myself wanting to keep to myself more and more because reality is people really just don’t have an interest in others on a deeper level.