I was raped.

I was the victim of rape many, many years ago. I felt ashamed, dirty, disgusting, embarrassed, violated, angry and hurt. I went through a lot of struggles with body image, which I honestly still deal with today. Rape changes a person for life. It does. Not all in the same way. We all handle it different. I DID go to the hospital. I DID have a rape kit done. It’s sitting in an evidence room somewhere in Minnesota. I was raped by 5 high school boys in the woods. However, I did not press charges. In fact, I was not the one who wanted to go to the hospital. I confided in my best guy friend Jason, and he tricked me into going. He sat beside me the entire time. He passed away in a car accident a few years after. Being raped was one of the hardest moments of my life and one of the most lonely moments of my life. I tried to commit suicide not long after without success. Mentally, it was unbearable to try to overcome.

When I say what I am about to say, I am not speaking lightly.

Women need to be taken seriously, when they come forward about being raped, assaulted, and abused. Their abusers need to be punished.

Girls need to learn that you do not falsely accuse, but by all means nail the SOB to the wall and don’t be ashamed for doing so.

There needs to be a reasonable statue of limitations on how long after someone can come forward with an accusation, and if they come forward after blank amount of years then it becomes slander. I’m sorry, waiting over ten years is just too long and that is an agenda. I don’t care how you slice the cake. You’re looking for something and that needs to have a consequence because at that point it’s not about being a victim.

I am glad I don’t have boys, that as a mother in one moment, I need to worry that their lives could be ruined by a false accusation.

I’m very much a girl power kind of lady, and that’s how I want our girls to be. This is a topic we really need to have a serious dialogue on, because it has so many angles to it. I agree women should not be taken advantage of, but look at the message we send in schools. Girls cover up because you’re distracting the boys. Yet, in some ways it’s true. Our society has made women into very sexual objects. I agree the woman’s body is a beautiful thing, but we have desensitized men into thinking that it’s okay to look at all women. Hell, you can’t even see a women’s razor commercial without it being sexual. I’m sorry, but living in the world we live in sends men some messed up messages, and whether we want to have that conversation, it’s part of the conversation that needs to be had. Men are being told they don’t have to be told no, because somehow, somewhere they will have a yes. They just have to find it. Some men, just stop hearing no….

This topic is so big, but no one wants to look at the big picture because it’s uncomfortable. They may have to actually give something up to do the right thing.

Either way, conversations need to be had, but the first one needs to involve a statute of limitations on how long after a woman can come forward to ruin a mans life. I don’t care who you are, or what political party you follow. I’m a mom, that’s glad I don’t have a son.

-Rambling Ceejay


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