Jesus isn’t a joint

Everywhere you look words spew of Jesus this and Jesus that. I’m so sick of Facebook at this point. I have friends that love to share nothing but Jesus stuff yet if you really look at their lives you don’t SEE him. They want to talk about the love of Jesus, but no one wants to talk about the hard stuff, because that takes getting uncomfortable. That takes hard questions and people might get offended. The CHURCH might get offended. Heaven forbid the church might get offended. Guess what? I don’t care. Maybe the church needs to get offended.

Jesus isn’t some joint that you pass around hoping to get everyone high. He’s not some magical genie that makes everything “better”. This is why I’m leaving the church. I said it. I’m leaving the church. I love MY church, but the church as a whole, I can’t do. The American church is so over done and revamped I just can’t freaking take it. I love the lessons of Jesus in the same manner that I love the teachings of Buddha. In some ways, I believe they (not Buddha and Jesus, but the teachings) are one and the same, and this is where I run into issues with the church. Christians hate when you compare anything, but seriously buddha and Jesus had some similar views.

Jesus isn’t some shit you say or throw on. He’s not some joint you pass around hoping to get everyone stoned. Jesus is a lifestyle. A relationship. You live HIM, breath him and buy into it. You inhale it and exhale it with every breath, others notice and they want an interest in what makes you happy. What saves your soul. It’s not some damn “thing” you’re selling on the street like a vacuum. Buddha was an example of how to live your life. Gonna piss some off, ready?  Was Buddha the perfect Christian, or was Jesus the perfect Buddhist? I believe God is the father, I believe in Jesus Christ, I believe Christ died for my sins. I also think buddha was a super cool monk.  Two very cool people, I have learned a lot from. One I worship, one I don’t, but both I try hard to live my life according to how they lived even if I fall in a pot hole or make a wrong turn somewhere or a thousand.

Being a Buddhist ruined being a Christian for me, or maybe it did the opposite? Maybe, just maybe it taught me exactly how to be a Christian? I refuse to be fake. I refuse to hide my struggles.

Churches get so wrapped up in their building and I want to see where the Bible displays that behavior. Please show me! I want to see this!! Show me where members tithes 10% to the church that stayed within the church where leaders became rich, because I know some pastors making freaking bank and that brings some questions. Show me where youth groups play games, goof off, and bully and don’t mention Jesus. Show me where Jesus taught and went out of his way to make sure that everyone was comfortable.

Better yet….

Show me a church that truthfully shares the broken-hearted, and brokenness from all members including the pastor and their families rather than in little cliques and mingles. Show the church that shares the burdens are carried by ALL.

Show me a church in the streets handing out blankets and food and clothing to the poor and ministering Jesus under bridges or around burning barrels where people have cold hands, no jackets and no shoes. Show me that.

Show me a camp where children spend a week serving OUR neighborhoods in need fixing and ministering and serving insteading of fun. Show me that. Kids need more of that!!  Kids need less of fun, and water parks, and ministering and Bible study. Kids are used to being poured into. How about we expect children to PAY money to go to camp and to actually use their hands to get dirty (gasp!) and serve others that are less fortunate and rather than call it missions we call it summer camp! Wow, could you imagine the stories they may come home to tell? When a child can serve another and can teach another they learn more than you will EVER teach them. Show me THAT. Lets be that church.

Show me a church that encourages each of its members to open its home to a foster child or as a wrap around family. A full ministry supporting that. Show me the church that closes the gap in the foster care shortage and opens its doors to loving homes. Show me that kind of church.

Show me a church that understands the socioeconomic implications involved in short missions in 3rd world countries. Also, explain something to me. Why are we always focusing on the ouside wall? Why wouldn’t we start close to home and then work our way out? Now, I do know of some really good things that are happening in some 3rd world countries that are empowering young girls rather white money buying the hashtag “blessed”. I also know of a maxipad product that is doing the same thing that doesn’t come with socioeconmic implications claiming its in the name of Jesus. Problem is, some churches don’t know the difference and the people going have no understanding of what I’m talking about yet will argue to the death on this.

Show me a church that understands how to get in the damn trenches and how to get dirty. Show me that! I want to be a part of that. Nothing grows in a comfort zone, and while the American church means well, they are worried about numbers and doing what the American people want, but what about what God wants? Does he really want a bunch of lazy ass people sitting in church pews saying you did well because you attended every Sunday? I’m not buying it.

I’m not always the best at serving. I used to be in my own way. I was good at jumping in trenches. If I really feel passionate about something I will find a way, but I won’t do something for kudos. Kids are my passion. I would love to jump in with trauma kids, foster kids, homeless kids, troubled kids, etc. My life is still a bit complicated, but I love kids, and I was given a special gift of dealing with them. Right now, I dabble in the trenches that I can’t discuss publicly and thats okay. Down the road, that is where I want to be. Knee deep in the muck of kids, because believe it or not Jesus loves the little children, and we are hurting our children physically and emotionally.

Some day, I will find my church deep in the trenches, and I will pull my boots up and get all muddy. Until then, I’m staying home. I’m going to pray and read my Bible and love my family and friends. I can’t do the pretending thing anymore. I can’t pretend this isn’t bothering me anymore. I’m not saying that those who disagree with are wrong, but I’m also kind of tired of being told I’m wrong for not going to church. I feel very convicted that the American churches are headed down a really bad path, and while they have good hearts, they are not leading the people the way Jesus wants them to be lead. One day, I am going to just start doing what I know what needs to be done. I was hoping someone else would start it and I could just kinda jump in. I’m more of a follower. I hate leading.

Could you imagine if all the churches found a way to open their doors during the cold winter nights to the homeless men, women and children sleeping in the streets and gave them a warm meal and a warm place to sleep for the night?

Think about it- how often do you hear your pastor ask you not to forget about the Christian thing Monday – Saturday? My question is why not do the real thing on Sunday? Why not gather your church in various locations with food, blankets, gloves, shoes, jackets?  Prior to meeting around a burning barrel to hug those dirty, cold people and pray with them have a small church service with your members. Offer them some Jesus.  Then, go out and be the hands and feet of Jesus. Pass them some real life things that will help them. Do it again and again. Earn their trust. Let them SEE Jesus in you. Guess what? They will get to know Jesus BECAUSE of you, and you will spend your entire week thinking of the impact you have made and you will be thinking about Jesus too. Kinda cool right? But you won’t because you know, the money, attendance and numbers…… it’s F’ed up when Christian shit gets real right?

-Rambling Ceejay



  1. Agent X says:

    This quote rox my world!

    “Could you imagine if all the churches found a way to open their doors during the cold winter nights to the homeless men, women and children sleeping in the streets and gave them a warm meal and a warm place to sleep for the night?”

    It’s right at the heart of my whole blogging agenda. Thanx for promoting the idea!!!

    Agent X
    Fat Beggars School of Prophets
    Lubbock, Texas (USA)


    • CeeJay says:

      Thanks Agent x, I will pop in and check out your blog. I don’t speak up as much as I should, but I’m pretty passionate about things the rest of the world would rather make political or put blinders on to. Other times, I’m just a rambling lunatic. 🙂


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