Dear Daughters….

I’m sorry. From the bottom of my heart I’m sorry. I never planned for life to go like this. I hope you make less mistakes than I did. I know you have to grow up and do your own thing, but I pray from the pit of my heart that you can learn from my mistakes and not share my regrets. I’ve always tried to be the best mama I could for you, but I have failed on many levels.

I pray as you get older, you continue to be strong. I know I taught you that. Be strong enough to always stand in your OWN two feet. Have a Career, make your own money and do the things you want to do. Remember: work like a man, so you never have to depend on one.

Learn to love yourself for who you are and know your worth, because if you don’t, no one else will. It is your job to teach others how to treat you. You will piss people off for having boundaries, but that is okay. They will either learn to treat you right, or they don’t need to be in your life.

Never lose your voice. Don’t let others make you feel bad for having your own opinions. Be your own person. No one can do you, like you.

Build your bank account, and do all the things you want to do. Find a place that you can afford. Don’t buy things on credit, and don’t build up debt.

Don’t let your life revolve around another. Love isn’t supposed complicated and most wouldn’t know the meaning if it smacked them in the forehead, they’re just afraid of being alone. Love is patient, and kind and gentle. It’s a verb with action. It’s knowing the need of another and providing without expectation. It’s rooting someone on, and truly wanting the best for them. You words line up with action. It’s being angry and sticking to an issue that has hurt you without personally attacking someone. Love doesn’t yell at you, or scare you. Love doesn’t make you feel less than. Too much I’m sorry can cancel out the I love you. It’s okay to be angry and hurt because people are not perfect, and they will disappoint you. Love them anyway, but know when to distance to protect yourself. It’s not your job to love someone who doesn’t love you. Sometimes, you have to love yourself more. It will hurt really freaking bad, but not as much as the roller coaster of hurt. Love is being kind to someone even if you are angry. 

Wait on marriage. It’s not all bad, but it’s not as important as society deems it to be. Its a expensive price to pay for a set of handcuffs. If you don’t have true love, then you need to avoid it at all cost. Listen to your intuition. Love shouldn’t hurt physically, mentally or emotionally.

Here is a big one girls…

If at any moment a person asks you what is wrong, and what they are doing is whats causing your pain, but they get angry for you telling them, they don’t respect you. They certainly don’t love you.  Especially if they turn it back on you, or make you fear telling them. That person only cares what is wrong as long as it doesn’t involve them. This goes back to love is kind, even if you are angry.

Own your mistakes. If you mess up, own it. Only you can fix them.

Don’t say hurtful things out of anger. Practice the pause. Once you speak words in anger for the purpose of hurting someone, you chance losing them forever. Some words can never be taken back.

Use your words. Say exactly what you mean, but do it with tact. If you need to say something, say it. Don’t let it sit and fester and cause a build up in your heart.

Life a happy life. Focus on the positive. Life is full of negative people and drama, but that doesn’t mean you have to allow them in your inner circle. Keep your tribe small. Compliment other women. Listen to you tribe. They will tell you truth, even when you don’t want to hear it. See if what they say has validation.

Keep your integrity. Just because you fit in a saddle, doesn’t mean you need to try them all on, and remember, you can’t ride two saddles with one ass….

Love, and be kind to others because this world is full of hateful, toxic people.

Know when to distance yourself from people, but don’t have so many walls you keep everyone out. Just don’t let others cross your personal boundaries. If something is wrong, or hurts you, you don’t have to put up with it.

Find a way to volunteer your time and serve others. Spread joy and happiness like freaking glitter and make someone else’s day a little better.

Life is beautiful if you don’t let others steal your joy.  Don’t be too selfish, but be selfish enough to know that you deserve to be happy, and if something is sacrificing your happiness, change it or remove it. We live in a society that thinks if you leave or give up on something you are selfish, when putting up with any form of toxic relationships is not okay. Even in marriage.

For my girls, I love you, bunches of boats, to the moon and back. Live a life you can be proud of.

-mama

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